Diagnosis

September 16th arrived and we geared up for Evan's big appointment with the pediatric neurologist. I was armed with my notes and a bag of toys and snacks for my little guy (who knew how long we'd be parked in the waiting room). I was nervous and anxious, which always puts me into a more emotional state. Evan was such a happy, laid-back kid and my concerns were not that noticeable to most people. I wanted to hear that I was not crazy and all my observations added up to something real.

We were called in after a short wait and met the doctor. He seemed very kind and spent some time talking and playing with Evan. He asked him to toss a ball and Evan went up and set it into his hands. He asked him questions and Evan just evaded his stare. He asked him to draw a circle - no such luck. He had a bag of Disney figurines and Evan began standing them up in a line. When he got to Donald Duck the doctor said "Oh, he's broken. He doesn't stand up." Well, he didn't know how persistent my little guy could be. Sure enough he balanced Donald in just the right way to get him standing and the doctor had a good laugh. I told him about Evan's love of maps and kicked myself for not bringing one. An intern was with the doctor and he had a pocket calendar with a tiny map of the United States. The doctor thought the map would be too small, but I said he should point to a state and give it a try. Evan named every state they asked.

I set off on my endless dialogue of notes. The doctor listened intently and I kept on reading. Finally I got to the end and looked up. The doctor tilted his head to the side, smiled and said, "Do you want to know what I think?" I explained that I had wanted him to get a well-rounded understanding of Evan and that I was leaving everything else up to him. He stated that Evan had Asperger's Syndrome and explained it was a type of high-functioning Autism. I wasn't surprised, but hearing it from his mouth made it so real. I knew from this moment on life would not be the same. The words were on a loop in my brain as I stared at the face of my young son. I couldn't stop the tears from coming as I nodded along to everything the doctor was saying. He said he'd never diagnosed somebody as young as Evan and such an early diagnosis would be a beneficial head start.

The car ride home was like being stranded in emotional limbo. My husband and I were relieved that Evan's behaviors had a name and it was something we could research and work on. We were saddened at the thought that our child would be looked at as "different." Words like 'Autism' and 'Special Needs' still hung heavily in the air. At home I hopped online and ordered nine books on Asperger's Syndrome and started reading lots of articles and websites. Look out Asperger's, here we come!