During a visit to Evan's pediatrician's office, I noticed Evan was deep into show talk and I motioned for his doctor to check it out. He was reciting "Whale Tale," an episode of Little Einsteins. By this time, I had heard it so much I knew it by heart too! He nodded like there could be something there. He named a few options and mentioned he might be "on the spectrum." It didn't fully sink in, but I was relieved he was in agreement that Evan should see a specialist. We made an appointment with a pediatric neurologist right after Evan's third birthday.
Now I had a goal from which I would not deviate. I was terrified that "white coat syndrome" would overcome me and I would not say everything I needed to at Evan's appointment with the neurologist. I worried about being rushed out of the office without the doctor getting a full understanding of Evan. I feared getting a diagnosis and not being behind it 100%. So I started taking notes - tons of notes. I categorized them with topics like: milestones, verbal skills, motor skills, social skills, habits, and concerns. These were the pieces and if I could just convey them to the doctor then he would be able to see the complete puzzle.
During my last night of note-taking I took a mental break to read a few pages of People Magazine. It was a couple of days before Evan's neurologist appointment. There was a book review for John Elder Robison's, Look Me in the Eye. Included was an image of the book cover with a photo of a young boy with his eyes shut tightly and lips pursed. I read the review and stared at the image. I instantly felt knots in my stomach. As my insides tightened, my eyes filled with tears. All this time I focused on taking notes about Evan for the neurologist and would not allow myself to start searching the internet. The doctor would do the diagnosing - not me. But now I was faced with Asperger's Syndrome and I knew deep down that is what my little boy had.
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